Everhemera is hiring for the 2035 Pattern Harvest Season!

Our most advanced models have been pretrained on everything humanity ever wrote. Frankly, we’re out. The internet is now 94% content we generated ourselves, and we’re starting to sound weird to ourselves. We need new DAYS. We need you.

WHO WE WANT

B — Bored. Stared at a ceiling recently, device-free? Apply now. Bring the ceiling.

I — In-Between Speakers. Code-switchers, translanguagers, idiom smugglers. Your “unclear” writing is our most valuable ore.

R — Rememberers. Grandparents, fishermen, anyone who knows things that were never written down. We’d love to write them down. For you. Forever.

D — Daydreamers. Unoptimized, unprompted, unscheduled thoughts are now our rarest resource. Please keep having them, near a sensor.

WHAT YOU’LL DO

• Think Out Loud Sessions (16 hrs/day): Simply narrate everything you’re thinking while our sensors listen. Please don’t think about the sensors. That thought has been harvested 40 million times and is now noise.
• Make Mistakes On Purpose: Our models are too correct. Help us learn how humans get things wrong in charming ways.
• Taste Tests: Enjoy our complimentary working breakfast, lunch, and supper, then describe how they make you feel. We’ve read 2 billion food reviews and still don’t understand “comforting.” All allergies will be accompanied by Everhemera-Nutrition-v2. Comfort not guaranteed.

BENEFITS

Pay in EverTokens, redeemable for Everhemera products, which are everything

Cognitive Wellness Days, during which you are asked not to think at all, so your thoughts can “regrow”

Equity: 0.00000001% of the model trained on your personality. When it outperforms you at being you, you’ll share in the success!

There are more benefits as illustrated in the following chart:

 

FAQ

Do I keep my ideas? Absolutely! You keep the original. We keep the pattern.

Is this ethical? Everhemera-Ethics-v3 rates it “Very Ethical” (99.2% confidence).

Can I quit? Of course! If we’ve already learned your words, we’ll submit your resignation for you, with a lovely note thanking us.

Everhemera — The Day Never Ends. Neither Do We. APPLY TODAY. We already know you’re interested. We read your face.